Nothing brings us adults more joy than messing with the unsuspecting minds of toddlers! This reminds me of the baby meeting her dad's twin for the first time...

concealing an out of wedlock fetal death? That's a pretty specific crime.

My mother, who is black, and my father, who is white, used to get SO MUCH SHADE thrown at them by strangers. Instead of shrinking under the disapproving gazes, my mother, who is an A+ badass, used to grab hold of my Dad, tousle his red hair, and say loudly, "When are you going to tell your wife about me?" to give the…

I enjoyed this one:

Look, this dog is cute. Of course it is. But a quick search of Petfinder.com shows that there are over three thousand little dogs available for adoption in Los Angeles. You can't tell me that one of these dogs isn't cute enough for Paris Hilton.

Nope. THIS is the world's cutest dog. Also, Paris Hilton should not be allowed to own animals.

Fake, but still awesome:

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."

I am Glute.

The Truth About Cats and Dogs was saved by Janeane Garofalo. Because Janeane Garofalo.

Allow me to translate;

You know how some folks can never remember if a movie has Dylan McDermott or Dermot Mulroney? I honestly have this issue with B/B. Sad thing is, I've liked both of their work! Just for some reason their names and their being about the same age and vaguely looking alike really throws me.

This one isn't really weird because, OBVIOUSLY, but... bearded, burly, tatooed mountain men/ hippies that have a flare for vintage menswear. Who also love children. Men with long shaggy hair in pony tails.

You can have the boys. I'll take dad.

I do rather love the idea of a squadron of pigs praying over the contents of a maxi-pad.

Next on its agenda, the state of Texas will be prosecuting all those women who willfully miscarry and abandon potential fetuses every month by failing to be pregnant in the first place.

So — male sports team members can drug a girl, film themselves raping her and they get a slap on the wrist because "think of their future, those poor boys-who-will-be-boys" but a girl who has miscarriage is automatically presumed guilty of being a baby murdering Slutzilla and gets a Ferguson-level police response?

A quote from The Mirren might help them? Or maybe not.