I dunno. Look at that smarmy grin on Trump’s face.

Also, they’re set by boards, and the people who sit on those boards are often CEOs or other high officers of other companies. So CEO compensation is set by... other CEOs, who hope to get the same deal.

Can we also institute a mandatory minimum sentence of 20 years for people who use any version of the phrase, “Was that so hard?” to service workers?

Nah, the In’n’Out secret menu has been on the internet for years, and it’s been a thing for longer than that. The trend started when a bunch of annoying people decided that any place that has basic ingredients that can be mixed together in novel ways has a “secret menu.”

Nearly as good as:

I have a black lab mix that thinks she’s a kitty sometimes...

What is this magical elixir? Do you just put bourbon in your root beer (spoiler: awesome), or do you buy it somewhere?

It depends on your skin type, but the only moisturizer I’ve found that doesn’t make my combo skin super greasy is in Arbonne’s Calm line. If you don’t know someone who sells it (it’s like Avon), I think if you go through their website they can connect you to a seller. It is a little more expensive (like, $20-25), but…

I don’t remember whether there was cheesecake, but otherwise yes.

but is such a blasé attitude about nudity healthy at a young age? And is it even safe?

Apparently cattle rustling is technically still a hangable offense in Texas....

When we adopted my dog, pit bulls and Staffies outnumbered all the other dogs in the shelters by magnitudes. Why in the world would you pay some random Craigslist dude hundreds of dollars for a dog when you could get the exact same breed for half the price or less from a shelter? People are dumb.

How much of parenting is just trying to keep a straight face? Most of it, right?

I mean, I suppose logic is a lot to ask from someone in mandatory rehab, but what did they think was going to happen?

Weekends off are THE SHIT. And schedules predictable beyond maybe a week. I will never forget the glory of moving from retail customer service to stock, where our schedules were dictated by the never-changing delivery schedule.

Is that a recent name for it? I just assumed that’s always what it’s been called, and it’s only recently that it sounds dirty. Like what Beavis and Butthead did for “bunghole.”

I’m so sorry about your illness. I haven’t dealt with your issue, but I also have very fine hair, and something I learned recently was that it gets much less oily if I use a very light conditioner only a couple of times a week. If your hair is also drying out that might not be a good solution, but if not, since it’s…

I know you’re joking (probably), but I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. We definitely give people in their 30s the side-eye if they aren’t married, so I wonder how many people get married because they feel like they have to or they’ll be old and worthless, rather than because their partner is a good one.

Yeah, I saw the headline and my first reaction was, “Sweet, good for Congress.” I was very confused when the piece was negative.

This is exactly why Del Taco exists in the west/southwest, and why there are Taco Bells in Austin TX.