I just use the Cooter line from Walmart. I think their liner in RimJob is almost an exact dupe for Mars Van Vooter’s Liquid Canvass.

I constantly have to shut down requests to open an artisinal bakery down there.

Why is no one talking about the real victim here? Poor Melissa McCarthy has to go back to being just a regular old movie star now. Sad!

The suit you wore to the inauguration made you look like someone’s crazy old aunt that they only let out of the cellar for graduations and weddings, Kellyanne.

Holy fuck do the people who tighten the straps on your jacket before they tuck you in know where you are?

If the son’s a twit, you must acquit!

For Gawker, I’ve been in ‘teh greyz’ since Kinja 2.0 and I was never in the black ever in Jezzie. I survive on the strength of my comments getting promoted. :-)

I encourage all teens out there to have as much sex with as many partners as possible. Because, once you start working full time, your job will suck out your soul, and any sex drive you may have will go with it. And, even if yours stays intact, odds are your partner’s job will crush their sex drive.

Re:Blackish - my daughter said, “Mom, if we were in the show Blackish, we would be the white people.” She’s 5.

Legit I will watch College-ish if it promises to include some sort of Shade Court reference as well as copious amounts of Ed Sheeran burns

WHAT IS WITH THE GRAY FRIZZ?! Yesterday I tried my third product to keep it down to not ‘finger in electric socket’ look. I’ve got about 15% gray and 100% of it is frizzy.

I too am done with tidal after having never been involved in it in the first place.

I’ve done Murph a couple times (no vest), and I think my best time ever was around 55 minutes. For comparison, I can run a mile in 5:30, two miles at 13:00 without feeling particularly winded, rock climb regularly at V4s pushing to V5s, and oh yeah, I played in the fucking NFL.

Piss off DJT Jr..... I completed the Murph in 3 minutes and 15 seconds

Ryan Seacrest is upset that Katy Perry is being offered way (waaaay) more to do American Idol than he is. [Page Six]

Very right of centre? I’m sorry, but get real. Harper was right of centre, and I wouldn’t even say ‘very’ (very in Canada would be Alberta’s Wildrose party or the also-ran Christian Heritage Party). 

I feel the same way as an American reading a Trump article. I’m like “wow, do people just think I’m admiring his smoked turkey colored skin? How his face melts into his neck? His millionaire on a ketchup diet bod? How his suits perfectly contour his ego?” It’s the curse of having a super hot leader.

Trudeau: Did he try that handshake bullshit on you?
Macron: Oh yeah, he totally did. Thanks for the tips.

Well, when your head is as far up your ass as Trump’s is, I imagine it’s difficult to sit down normally.

If the oath was breached, you must impeach. If his story does not align, he must resign.