He also had a thing for much younger girls, i.e. when they were 16 and 17: https://jalopnik.com/when-are-we-going-to-address-how-paul-walker-had-relati-1828227580.

So Mark Walhberg recently bought a Chevy dealership here in Columbus, Ohio and is offering to buy our soccer team so it doesn’t move to Austin, Texas.  Also he’s a hate crime committing piece of shit and I hope this movie gets crushed by Crazy Rich Asians. 

You know, for a minute there, like, a decade ago, Berg looked like he was on track to become a really interesting A-list director. Then Battleship happened. Now, he’s just Marky Mark’s Dennis Dugan.

Which is more disrespectful, being demanding and not tipping, or sharing petty personal anecdotes on an obituary?

“We boomers are nothing if not accommodating.”

Boomers are nothing if not up their own asses about every damn thing you can imagine.

Yeah, people in middle America hate cheese. Especially if you fry it. Best they leave this nuanced delicacy to the sophisticated palates of the coasts.

I’m not a huge caramel fan. But the right hint of salt does actually make caramel and/or chocolate better for me. Not in every case, but in a lot of cases.

I feel like this bodes ill for my new cookbook The Amature Fisherman’s Guide to Fugu.

FYI, you also have the option of buying “donating” cookies which are redirected to homeless shelters or other groups that serve the needy, or you can just donate money to the Girl Scouts without expecting anything in return.

“If you like it, I guess that’s fine.”

Ocean’s 12 has been stricken from my mind because of the ridiculousness of Julia Roberts’s character pretending to be Julia Roberts. I remember nothing else about the movie except that and it fills me with an unreasoning rage.

Not really blood. :-)

Right?

True story, I once ate a meal of Taco Bell complete with Baja Blast mixed with Patron Silver tequila. No regrets!

Please never cast Jared Leto with his “in depth method acting” as a white supremacist. 

I mean, technically there already WAS a Monk/Psych crossover.

Tolkien not writing anything in the last 45 years also seems to have inspired Martin...

Dammit, now I’m imagining hacky comedians in the H.P. universe.

Sorry everybody. I tried to get hired as the host of Talking Dead but I guess they went in a different direction. I guess laughing hysterically throughout the prestige drama and giving little voices for the zombies is frowned upon.

New ad slogan: “Chipotle: Want to Take a Sick Day?”