I was so worried it would just end up being The Emoji Movie with better character designs.

“Some people fervently remember seeing a movie called Shazam, with Sinbad playing an irrepressible genie. They’re probably thinking of a movie called Kazaam, with Shaquille O’Neal playing an irrepressible genie.”

Sneaky Immigrant Song intro, Mjolnir shattered, Hulk, Thor’s reaction to Hulk. There has never been a better trailer.

Paw Kent (Kevin Costner): Won’t be in this movie because he decided to go play in a tornado. May or may not have told his son once that he heroically saved his family’s farm from a flood and got to cake and that caused a bunch of horse to drown. Lesson = don’t be a hero cause it sucks.

Considering how long it’s taking to get the ancient art of threading implemented, blocklists should arrive on Kinja August 2, 2056.

When Audrey walked into the Roadhouse, I yelled at my TV “Eat that, Internet! It’s not a coma!”