It says something about Oscar songs that "You'll Be In My Heart" is (a) not even the best song from "Tarzan" and (b) not even damn close to the best Phil Collins-involving song from a Disney feature.

Christ, that was exhausting. But at least Dempsy outdid his future self in "Grey's Anatomy".

Which reminds me of one of my least-favorite Oscar moments: The year they didn't even let the winners of the unpopular awards like "Best Short" go onstage and give thanks; they brought the Oscar to wherever they were sitting and gave them maybe half a minute for their special moment.

Your friend's date should get together with my sister's ex who, when they went to see "Troy" together, shouted at a critical moment, "Wait… they were INSIDE the giant horse?!?"

You can meet after our "We Saw Your Boobs" trauma therapy group.

Seeing the couples at the Homecoming party slow-dancing to "The Freshmen" was the exact moment I realized most people just do not listen to lyrics.

Ah, life before the Shazam app…

And lest we forget his villain song, in which this happens: https://youtu.be/evk75OFiGV…

It's something else. Here's the video: https://youtu.be/IWNvlT44nlw

Best, funniest, and most weirdly sincere live-action Christmas special this side of the "Pee-Wee's Playhouse" one.

I'm not sure what's funnier; the Clickhole article itself or the angry Muppet fans who thought it wasn't funny.

Troy: "That's a good idea, Homer, but I think they already made a movie based on 'Treasure Island'."
Homer: "Yeah? Well, what about 'Romeo and Juliet'?"

I know. I really really want to watch this now.

Except that I have seen "Cars 2" and guess what actually happens to a car voiced by Bruce Campbell in this movie?

Well, they're right. The Beiber/Busta version is… indescribable…

I maintain nobody over the age of 15 has any business singing "Little Drummer Boy". The combined power of Bowie and Bing couldn't survive the "Pa-rum-pa-pum-pums", what makes you think you can?

There's a pond I know that's the home of a surly snapping turtle who's trying his damndest to be a genuine kaiju (his shell was as big around as a tire last time we saw him; note this is in New England and not Florida). Guess what we sing every time we pass by?

I can't not hum that medley to myself anytime I either hear "Tusk" or that particular beat used during the end-credits song of a lousy movie.

With that in mind, whoever directed the music video, which contains glowing people, giant snowglobes, and a laser-angel thing twisting around in the sky and spreading fairy dust everywhere, knew *exactly* what they were doing.

Eh, I'll go to bat for… one-third, maybe a quarter of the songs on "Merry Merry Christmas".