And any time I read that explanation as a child, I got all upset and thought, "But that's not why *I* like dinosaurs?!?"

I, as a paleoartist, am more bothered by the diss at David Krentz. Even if the end result is terrible, that wouldn't have been his fault and I'd have jumped at the chance to have his job here.

The last time somebody pointed these out to me and my paleontology friends on Twitter, we all agreed that they're not to be laughed at. They're meant to be smug-harrumph-and-nodded at.

A) Your misremembered version of "We're Back" is already a whole lot more fun than the real thing.

I'm that weirdo who was hoping "Tree of Life" would be MORE like the "Right of Spring" sequence.

Yes, but as demonstrated by "Walking With Dinosaurs 3D: Spirit, Ceratopsian of the Steppes", marketing people *insist* that people want talking dinosaurs/wall-to-wall narration, despite the fact that that's what everyone so far who's seen the movie complains about.

It's weird because the Ellen's So Many Nested Fever Dreams It Would Give Christopher Nolan a Nosebleed version, which isn't even sponsored by Big Oil these days, is even more "I Love Fossil Fuels" than the original, which went on at length about renewable energy and made a big deal about the ride itself being…

That's topped by a scene in "The Ballad of Big Al" where they answer That Question about Stegosaurus…

Best song ever written about life long after a nuclear apocalypse.

If "dinosaur toys aren't going to sell well, better get something conventionally cute in there" was the rational, then my God, the producers of "Dinosaur" were even more delusional then I thought they were.

I can't "like" this enough, especially since some otherwise genuinely great movies use that device as well. It ALMOST works in "Princess Bride," but then you have something like "The Forbidden Kingdom"…

Yeah, if stegosaurus "has two brains" than, uh, so do humans.

You know, given the wall-to-wall narration (the review did not mention this but one of my paleontology friends on Twitter worked on the movie and said that the voices were dubbed in ONE MONTH AGO), I'm… okay with nobody getting their hands on "Raptor Red".

Somewhere in between the tree-squids, the predatory slime-mold, and the hopping snails that resembled one-legged mollusk kangaroos, I was sad that the narrator did not explain that the future was too trippy for humans to survive.

Furthermore, "Bloop" means "I love you" in Lissamphibian and "(Long, drawn-out fart noise)" means "I love you" in Eutherian!

You mean it survived unchallenged for hundreds of millions of years, becoming astonishingly diverse, and now it rules the skies?

The part that kills me the most is that they've apparently bookended the movie with a bored kid who has been dragged along on his paleontologist dad's dig and complains through the whole thing. Because surely the kinds of kids who'd beg their parents to bring them to an exhaustively researched 3D dinosaur movie will…

The one with the creaky robotic dinosaurs that shuddered and screamed at you? That was the shit back in the 80's! You kids these days and your active, more believable oversized puppet dinosaurs…

Especially bizarre because Carnotaurus is a wonderful animal in it's own right (relatively puny, ugly-cute bulldog face, arms even sillier than a tyrannosaurs, no sign of feathers if you're the kind of person who gets angry at a long-dead animal's integument), but they turned it into a generic Tyrannosaurus stand-in…

That and the gun-toting lemur are the only things I remember about this movie.