Why are you on Jalopnik?

Probably yes because they know the people who will abuse it, will be tuning it, thus voiding the warranty. 

Thank you. Pretty much since the days of Dexter Manley, LT & others we’ve been conditioned to “root for laundry” as Mitch Albom once said. I have a question for Stephen, Do you hold black NBA fans to the same level of scrutiny? Forget sports are you making demands of black Americans to cut loose all entertainers that…

“All cars are a luxury to the man who rides the bus. Except Nissans, those are trash.”

You forgot to mention the GTI is too fat and safe, the Corvette is too expensive and going mid-engined will cause Zora to roll over in his grave, the Boxster/Cayman’s turbo-4 sounds terrible... God, it’s like you aren’t even listening to us complain, Patrick. This article really missed the mark.

Not today, Satan. Chicken will be washed. I will not take advice from people who let their pets roam the counters in the kitchen whilst they cook. Fuck I look like listening to people who serve cat hair encrusted, unseasoned chicken breast to their family.

This thing’s only virtue is that it makes the Chevy SSR look practical. Five crack pipes with a fentanyl chaser.

Sequoia - The shortest word in the English language with every vowel accounted for.

I appreciate pointing out the hypocrisy at play here, but this is a flavor of hot take I’m really fucking tired of. Can a tragedy just be a tragedy? Do we always have to justify our emotional responses to stuff like this by comparing it to other tragedies or excuse it by giving some explicit personal or familial…

Well, if you don’t want a Miata, I can’t really help you, but this might:

This Probe looks like it hasn’t been involved in any collusion.

That is the rear seat where children learn how to flip off other cars.

I like this thing, but I don’t five-grand like it. 

All 372 of the 250 produced showed up to the 100th anniversary of the 911.  

A color like that makes it hard to play hide-and-sheik.

I roll my eyes do hard every time people point out two sedans have similar silhouettes. No fucking shit? There's only so much you can do when you start with "sedan" and have modern safety standards. Next you're going to point out that SUVs have similar silhouettes and blow everyone's mind!

Just because it’s not your cup of tea... no, never mind. Stanced is like drinking Draino and calling it tea.

“Well here’s your problem. The engine’s in the wrong place!”

“My book exposed a grubby secret of American higher education: that the rich buy their underachieving children’s way into elite universities with massive, tax-deductible donations,”

Just suggested this but a TSX wagon with the v6 or I4 would be good. The i-4 can be had with a manual as well just have the Extend warranty covered by Honda for the piston rings (source)