‘What the hell is the scent of “powder?”’

Generic demon was taken away from me, so I am voting succubus.

I am voting for fairy. The dangerous kind that will lead you deep into the forest chasing after lights you can never quite catch until you are hopelessly lost.

You’re thinking of the wrong kind of fairies. I voted for the kind who invites you to a ball and when you wake up on what you think is the next morning, your feet ache everyone you’ve ever loved is dead.

This is why I chose fairies, even though I know it will lose.

I get why fairy is losing, but I want to reiterate that the kind of fairy I am voting for is mean and fancy and tricks you into dancing until you die.

“equal parts powder and musk and the zing of fresh-cut iris.”

That sounds painful to me, but I bet it’s a relief when it happens.

Ouch.

Betty Smith wrote in a ten cent copybook on a firescape with a view of invasive ailanthus trees. She poured but did not drink hot coffee all day long, taking comfort in the warmth and the smell as she wrote. The copybook was purchased at a 5 and dime run by an old man whose time-ravaged face scared all the…

I’m turning over a new leaf. Starting today, no more mercilessly poop-shaming those less fortunate.

My mother is also chronically constipated. For her, I think it is partially a psychological problem that has turned into a physiological problem over the years from managing her colon through pharmaceuticals. Once during an early marriage she refused to go for 2 months and had to go to the doctor over it.

Yeah, unless it was really egregious (like it sounds like a toddler is in there just playing with the flusher) I can’t imagine actually saying anything. Once the door is closed, the people behind them basically cease to exist to me, and I hope I cease to exist to them too. Plus, it might sound like a courtesy flush,…

Oh man, I wish it all the time, on lots of people. But don’t worry, they are all pieces of shit like this couple.

That’s exactly why all of them should be taken away. It’s pretty abusive to teach your children to be cruel.

Ah yes, because it is their YouTube viewers who deserve an apology from all of this, and not the poor kids.

Generally I have no problem going in the office bathroom at all. The only thing that gives me pause is when someone sees me come in, starts talking to me, and then keeps talking after I go in the stall. Shut the fuck up, Pam, once I’m behind the stall door I don’t exist to you. Of course, it doesn’t really stop me,…

Same. When I have to go, I have to go. I’m incredibly regular, and I probably go 3 times a day. I don’t even understand how people can go once in the morning and be done.

Tea also makes you poop.

The earth-mother is correct.