Absolutely gorgeous.

I enjoy 90s action movies, but anymore, every action movie is too clever by half. They are all winking at the audience and wryly making fun of themselves, and I am not here for it. I love the earnestness of Twister or Speed. Are they silly? Sure, but the actors are actually going for it like they give a shit, and I…

I thought I dreamed that!

Maureen O’Hara is basically the reason I once dyed my hair red, and while I couldn’t take the maintenance and think I work better as a brunette anyway, I strive to embody a little of her spirit at least.

A) I feel a bit old now. At 34, it never occurred to me that anyone would think the Lohan version was even worth watching, when the Mills version was basically the reason to be excited for a Disney Channel free preview weekend (back when Disney was a premium cable channel).

Tell me about it. I’m desperate for counter-programming right now. Anything that isn’t a superhero, caper, or kid’s movie sounds great to me. Summer feels like a movie wasteland to me anymore, even worse than the rest of the year.

I like the pockets, and the room for thighs in men’s clothing, but the waist on women’s jeans is too small for me, and in men’s, it is ridiculous. I have a couple of my husband’s old jeans that fit well, but I am an extreme hourglass, and I just desperately want jeans that have a waist and aren’t made of spandex.

My kid will just have to shop in vintage stores. There is no way I am keeping my clothes around long enough for this future baby to be a future teen. :)

Facebook consistently tries to tag a painting I painted as me (it’s not a self-portrait, fwiw) when it is in the background of my photos. On the one-hand, I’m flattered, because apparently the proportions are properly humanoid. But it leaves me with little confidence that facial recognition is a password.

When I was younger, I tried my best to keep up with denim styling, and to save my favorite pieces for when they came back in again. I now realize that:

You say they are everywhere, but where the fuck could I get some, please? Not made of Spandex, and going up to a size 14.

I believe so, but while it lasted it made me realize that you don’t need to remake Heathers to keep the spirit alive. You just have to be vicious and campy.

As someone whose mother gave her bangs as a child and then refused to let her grow them out because, “The hair in your eyes is making me crazy!” children should not have bangs. Bangs are a commitment only an adult should make for themselves.

I have the heavy towel type bathmats, and I can’t even get them all the way dry in the dryer after washing them without spending a ridiculous amount of money at the laundromat. I have to hang them up in the sun after the dryer, and hope the weather is dry. (Southern California, so usually it is.)

Anarcho-syndicalists, you say?

And pepper-spraying journalists destroys fascism...how, exactly?

This sounds as shitty as when they remade The Women and decided it should be about enduring female friendship instead of being a hilariously savage skewering of same. Pass.

Also, if you find that you need more Heathers, we already have it, and it is called Scream Queens.

Me too! That sounds awesome! I once read a Dear Prudence letter that was a fake and was actually the plot to the music video “Voices Carry.” It was pretty great.

What is this from?