My mom once said she thinks it would be ideal if married people took a monthly “night off” from each other, and you just don’t tell each other what happened. As a married woman myself, I totally think that would work for me, but my husband would never go for it. It would drive him mad. Ideally, if it wouldn’t hurt…

“But men are afraid of losing their main squeeze if they even bring it up.”

I prefer Neville for those qualities. Ron is a poor man’s Neville Longbottom.

I’m pregnant, so I’m not supposed to go in hot tubs or very hot baths. When the nurse said this, I asked what temperature I should stay under.* Instead of telling me she didn’t know, or telling me to look it up, she said, “It’s like boiling an egg. Do you want to do that to your baby?”

That’s what Rowling should apologize for.

This is the worst argument against Snape I have read. I mean, sure, bring it up at parent-teacher conferences, but who Neville finds scary is not the arbiter of who is good and bad in this world.

Ron wishes he was Sirius. Ron sucks.

I adore Snape, but I want an apology for bringing Potter back from the dead. It felt cheap, just like the Resurrection. Way to step all over the sacrifice of your main character.

I’m just here to say that I am certain that in the 90s we were told 6 months. YM told me, Seventeen told me, I remember it. Were there a bunch of eye infections in the aughts that made them revise the number down to three, or is it just an attempt to sell twice as much mascara? Also, I could never even get through a…

The super itchy kind your parents make you wear during her visit, but when she goes home, you never have to wear it again.

If they didn’t have sex until they were married, why is she wearing what appears to be a maternity wedding dress?

She looks like Tiffani-Amber Theissen.

After a long bike ride I like a nice cold beer, but apple juice would taste good too. ;)

I don’t like that it spoils the taste of my morning coffee, but fresh-squeezed juice really will have vitamins in it. Just none of the fiber of the fruit. Also, all the sugar and more.

What if I dilute the juice with alcohol?

A human person can’t be a MPDG, except in other people’s minds. Zooey Deschanel may appear to be one to others, but she is a real person with depth, thoughts and feelings. The trope is meant to criticize writers who think of women as one-dimensional, not the actual real-life women men project their fantasies onto.

Damn it. I hated Jurassic World, but I adore Jeff Goldblum, and now he wants to force me to watch this movie with his offbeat charm. Jeff Goldblum........uh........finds a way.

I’m certain the doctors in my area are scalpel happy, because all of my friends have children, and *none* of them have given birth vaginally. 0%.

I’ve heard this too.

My first car had the gas tank opening behind the rear license plate. That took a while to figure out.