What are those strange things on the front of Nicole Kidman's chest? Good Lord! Are those . . . breasts?

I'm a tiny bit in love with that dress. I want to take it out to dinner and introduce it to some of my friends, stay up late at night with it, drinking wine, having philosophical discussions, laughing at how much we have in common and then succumb to our mutual desires around 3:00 in the morning and tumble into bed…

@andBegorrah: I'll do a google. A friend of mine does online reviews of online reviews. I think she'd appreciate this one.

"No, The Love Guru is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again."

@Mrs. DeLesseps To You, Dahling: Perhaps forcing teenagers to raise other teenagers would have some sort of effect on their desire to have babies to love and love them back. Nothing sucks the joy out of parenthood quicker than having your own child look at you with a mixture of pity (for your unbelievable stupidity),…

Lady Victoria's dress is where good chickens go to die.

All those visions of having someone who loves you unconditionally begin to fade away when the little darlings become teenagers themselves.

There is something about David Beckham that always inspires the compulsion in me to put my index finger up to his lips and say, "Shh, baby. Don't talk. Let's not ruin this with conversation."

Hayzeus. Eva is channelling Scarlet O'Hara—or Maria from Sound of Music—by wearing something that is best suited as an outdated window treatment. At least Scarlet and Maria applied needle and thread to the curtains before taking them public. Eva's nightmare concoction looks like it's being held together by duct tape…

@NeverNikki: Oh, I agree. And I don't think there's anything wrong with being a great comedic or character actress—something at which I think Curtis excels. I tend to think she's better than the parts she plays, frankly.

I think she has a point, albeit an incomplete one. Aging Hollywood stars feel compelled to twist, torture and tighten their faces in an absurd attempt to stay relevant in a culture that increasingly worships youth over substantive work. And it seems the more dubious the talent or claim to fame, the greater the chances…

The skeeze force is strong in these choices, Obi Wan.

The comments are vile.