Did you know that Dane Cook is olde English for chlamydia? True story.

This is gold. Haha!

gotta put it here

Anyone else like me.... I can read the bullet points, but I can’t ever ever read Trump’s tweets. I skip way the fuck over those. It’s like reading or hearing him directly speak makes me pop a vein.

candy-gram

Newest tweet from *45 starts, “It was my great honor to welcome Mayor’s from across America to the WH.”

Everything I’ve seen says that Trump thinks of Hope Hicks like a daughter, so he’s definitely fucking her.

A good thing to see after reading/hearing all of these brave, gruesome statements:

Skincare line?!?!

She’s so giraffe-like I’m surprised one of her brothers hasn’t tried to hunt her.

trumps going to disown Eric, adopt Stephen, marry Ivanka, kill Jared and fuck Bannon.

For years, I’ve watched Veep and thought to myself, “Thank god there’s no one as terrible and insecure as Jonah, in Washington.” Now we have a White House full of Jonahs but Miller reminds me the most of the character.

Edited to remove an errant apostrophe.

Ignoring the cease and desist, Henry Holt announced that they will publish Wolff’s book four days early.

are you telling me that the jade egg in my pussy isn’t removing toxins?

The irony behind the fact that Bannon, the White Nationalist, may end up being the dark horse that brings down Donald Trump in the Russia investigation is a plot twist I did Nazi coming.

“...we should genetically engineer the poor...”

UK Update:

Holy shit...