“That is lame.” is such a sad response.

Everything is a weapon when you’re a scaredy-cop.

I appreciate that the dude took his regular mirrors off, left the parking mirror on.

It’s FRED ARMISEN.

Agricola is garbage.

Half an hour? A pint of sweet cream coffee caramel takes like 12 minutes.

Thank you.

Old faithful: “God (or the devil) did it to test (or trick) humanity.”

He would have, but he’s not old enough to vote.

Wait... A COMEDIAN WHO HAD HIS OWN SHOW ON COMEDY CENTRAL? FOR THREE YEEEARS?

On the topic of signals:

Better have a crank window.

“Hell, if there were some cultural or environmental factor, other than fear of obligation, that led men to jump off a cliff after conceiving a child, nothing in evolution would serve to alter that behavior.”

Haven’t we been not mythologizing Columbus for 30 years (at least)? We heard that he sucked since 2nd grade.

Because it’s just who’s being hung that’s wrong with that picture, right?

remembars

San Francisco is the worst city for public toilets (relative to its density).

“aquatics”

That’s because that’s the punchline for the bit. Jesus christ.

Starred for the Horry/Ringzzzz argument.