As an Englishwoman, I have to say the worst thing about that wasn't the adverts themselves (which were just cheesy and light-hearted - understandably, given that I don't think actually gender segregating your product does wonders for sales), but the interminable procession of knobheads who couldn't resist parrotting…

Who are these lucky 8 year old bastards who can successfully blow up a balloon? I still don't think I've ever done it properly...

Okay, that is shitty. Was there no other medication they offered instead? If not, that's incredibly poor student care. Even if so, it's unnecessarily hard-assed, IMO.

If you want free access to on-campus birth control, don't enrol at a university run by strict Catholics. Suck it up for Gawd's sake. You chose to go there - it isn't like a school where you've just been sent.

My feelings exactly. Last time I checked, there is no such thing as the right to get off, and yet somehow these guys are complaining that they don't have the right to get off more easily?

Next on the ban list: gin and coathangers, the rhythm method and travelling in a charabanc whilst expecting.

It's true that she was under no legal obligation, but she had clearly been given a hard time that she had to even address it. It just makes life so... uncool, when everything has to be double checked for the slightest potential upset. I mean, who on earth cares what she thinks about anything? I'll either chortle at…

Christ, what is up with people and Milla? She has to grovel for making a joke? And even if she was being serious, so what if she really thinks male modelling is embarrassing? I will continue to get great pleasure from their work (smirk) and I doubt it will lead to a spate of male model suicides. Of course it's okay to…

If one more person points out that the song Ironic isn't acutally ironic, I will smack their face. And each person thinks they are the first. How ironic.

You're in the right place, methinks...

This is sad news. I hate the college hook-up scene so hard. For me, personally, the whole concept of getting physical with a total stranger is excruciatingly awkward - faaaaar more awkward than going on a date (something, incidentally, which none of the socially ept guys are interested in, seeing as they can get a…

Damn you adaptable bi folk! Me and one of my best friends have a similar thing when it comes to multitalented guys - so often we just have to throw up our hands and say "I'm not sure whether I want to be with him or be him..."

That's my new crack pairing sorted, then.

This is insanely awesome. Although, if I actually went to this school I'm sure I would loathe that multi-talented, beautiful skank.

Why do I get the feeling that Jay-Z would get on great with my granny? They could have a cracking day, rifling through the clothes rack at Oxfam.

Damn, I feel sorry for politicains and their families sometimes. It seems like they can't do right for doing wrong.

They're fighting a losing battle anyway. We all know you don't win friends with salad.

Also, there is not a single trans person on their list. That's really really sad.

The staff come off sounding as nutso as their weird-ass dead flamingo dresses. Which I'm allowed to say, because I'm on the Internet.

God, we spent the Nineties thinking we were so ironic and postmodern and cool and then you watch these clips of perky sorts chirping about the boundless potential of the current decade and it suddenly seems like the 50s. Can't wait until the 2020s, when I'm bringing this shit back with a vengeance.