I am a fat guy who has ridden thousands of miles on scooters. I look like a circus bear on a tricycle. As such, I have never been embarrassed by a vehicle, no matter how crappy or lame it was.

When I first moved out on my own, I couldn’t afford a car.

My answer to the OP is to call out that bullshit claim by insurance company. Look at your policy - closely. Look for a clause that allows you to demand a replacement vehicle in lieu of a check. They’re lowballing you, and feeding you a line hoping you’ll buy it and save them a couple of grand.  My guess is they’ll…

“relatively high-crime part of the city”. I would definitely also find some off street parking because conditions are about to get a bit more intense in parts of Minneapolis this spring and summer.

But think of all those sweet, sweet clicks you wouldn't get by whistling up a new pickup. Instead you'll have all two dozen of us checking our digital devices for the next installment in your saga. Click, click!

No. That’s a Jeep Thing. You would understand. Perhaps a fold flat ARB inflator X-jack would get you by. Fancy car, fancy jack. There’s rules. 

I’m hoping it’s in the low setting, and not in the “broken” setting.

This is the least insane thing you have ever done, which is hilarious.

Somewhere, deep the bowels of the City of Troy’s ‘bylaw enforcement division’, the same grizzled officer shuts down his computer, holsters his ticket-pad, and mutters into the void: “Looks like it’s time to get back to work”.

I see your route crosses Idaho. You do understand there’s a check-station there at the border and you will be turned around unless the Land Cruiser has a mandated hipster awning pullout thing for overlanding. 

Also, your helmet superstition is well-founded — never wear a helmet that has sustained an impact, as the cushioning inside has done its impact absorption job and is now compromised in the event of needing to do so, again. (Former MSF instructor/Rider Coach/whatever and local incident investigator. I’m not a forensics…

My dad owned a Buy-Here Pay-Here car lot in central Florida from the early 80s up until around 2011. So sketchy was EVERYWHERE. I could go on and on but one sticks out.

Not me, but my dad.

That is a remarkably stupid idea.

1st Gear: Unless you can have charging at your house its absolutely stupid to buy an EV.

Android Auto/Apple CarPlay

Not really a “feature” but man modern cars are reliable now. Even an “unreliable” car now is miles ahead of cars from the ‘70s when I learned to drive. Credit computer monitered fuel injection and vastly higher manufacturing standards (thanks Japan!)

Others - Power to weight ratio, driving pleasure.

“Davenport! Get Mr. Griswold’s car over here!”

that’s a “Jerry Falwell Jr.”