Stewart Lee has a great bit about this. It’s about the Conservatives and Labour in the UK but I think it applies equally well here:

How many times do I have to say it? BMW turn signals work fine and get used all the time, they just flash in colors that the peasants can’t perceive.

Remember when gas/oil prices went up really high and flight prices skyrocketed because of it? And they crammed more seats on planes and charged us heavy fees for bags? Then fuel/oil prices dropped drastically and the flight prices never went down and fees never went away? Fuck everything about the airlines.

It’s just going to suck when a kid like me (smarter and richer though) records the video of my (Figurative) Mustang Foxbody crushing it on a drag strip using a car with about $30k of upgrades. It’ll be a sad sad $100,000.00 Demon owner :(

People here really need to chill out and lay off the judgment. This is a major company releasing a street legal drag car and trying their best to make it awesome.

Do the answers you seek lie within the Saab 9000 Turbo? I can’t tell you that. No one can. You must discover them for yourself.

The new Alpine is good and all, but when does this thing come back?

He’s going to be the first NBA player to spontaneously combust.

That is some creative writing right there. You are the Poe of Deadspin.

Russell allowed himself a slight smile, and chuckled slightly to himself. It took a long night going through the darker alleys of the French Quarter during the All Star Break to find what some said was only an urban myth.

This is brilliant. You have to admire the innovation. My favorite cheat is still Smokey Yunick putting a basketball inside the full tank and inflating to be able to pass tech inspection, then deflating it to get that extra couple gallons of fuel in the tank. Not as elegant of a cheat, but still makes me smile to think…

Weekend mode: engage.

So, what is rock bottom?

Red Vines. You’re doing it right. Twizzlers, on the other hand, are the devil’s foreskin.