THANK CHRIST they rewrote Claire Underwood. The series would NOT be what it is without her as a fully-actualized, deep character, and Robin Wright is a badass of the greatest kind. David Fincher should be embarrassed. Arm candy wives are bullshit and I'm glad he owned up to it.

I'm sorry, junior, I'm gonna have to revoke your privileges to sit at the adult table. You obviously can't handle being with people who can do real grown-up things like "use civil words" and "express their thoughts without throwing a fit". I know you may think this is unfair, but you'll understand when you've taken…

Yo, check your usage of the word 'tranny'. That's not okay.

So-Long-e? Cray-once? I dunno, it's too early for this shit. Retires back to bed.

Go back to debate class, junior. You're out of your league and it's embarrassing for everyone else to watch you try.

Nope. Scotsman fallacies don't fly. These are real Muslims just like Westboro Baptist has real Christians. Bad people exist and the world is a multifaceted, complex place full of people who have different ideas of what it means to be Muslim or Christian or even just to be a human being. The importance isn't to make…

Go fuck off down a mystery hole. If you're hesitating and thinking about sticking around, maybe commenting a few more times, just don't. Go ahead and find the nearest opening in the ground that leads to unknown depths, and report to the very bottom of it.

Confirmed: also read poop. Which also conveniently sums up my feelings about this.

I stayed with a wealthy family whose son was named Corentin. My cringe was so profound that I never really got my chin/neck divide back.

I'M NOT SORRY.

He is probably one of the most attractive men I've ever laid eyes on. I recommend further, um...research on Tumblr. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna need a few minutes to myself...

Draconian law. I believe the term you're looking for here is Draconian law.

Insert getting pussy joke here.

The thing about this is that doing horrible things to horrible people makes you a horrible person, too. This really isn't much different than people demanding that rapists be raped. All you're doing is creating more rapists. This is barbaric and I'd like to think that we are above such small-minded ideas as this.

Are you literally Lena Dunham? If you say no, I'm not going to believe you anyway, so you might as well fess up.

REAL ASIANS. So I guess you're the Real Asian Police now, and you get to decide who qualifies as a "real Asian", not like those FAKE Asians who disagree with you.

Yes, thank you for reiterating my point: You pretend like you want to hear what Asian-Americans think, but you actually only want to hear your opinion parroted back.

Well, I COULD use the career change, come to think of it...

LISTEN HERE, MY FRIEND, THIS SLAMMIN JAMMIN FLAVOR FIESTA DOESN'T STOP WITH SOME PISSY LITTLE SANDWICH. FOR ROUND TWO, PREPARE YOUR FACEHOLE FOR THE POUNDING IT DESERVES. WE'VE GOT SATAN'S OWN YOU-DAHO POTATOES, AN INCREDIBALLER DISH WHERE WE'VE DUMPED AN ENTIRE BAG OF SPUDS AND THREE POUNDS OF CIGARETTE BUTTS INTO A…

RING THE BELL IN FLAVORTOWN SQUARE BECAUSE GUY REVERE IS RIDING HIS 4-COURSE FLAVOR HORSE THROUGH THE STREETS TO WARN YOU ABOUT HIS BRAND NEW CASH MONEY DELI BRO-GIE JAM PACKED WITH MORE MEAT THAN A DRUNK SORORITY GIRL ON A SATURDAY NIGHT. AND THIS AIN'T NO GAY-OLI MY FRIENDS, OUR STRAIGHT GANGSTER VOLCANO AIOLI SAUCE…