That guy wrote such beautiful prose that I was only hoping he would continue the same level of high-quality entertainment to others.

hahahahahahahaha this can't possibly be serious hahahahahahahahahahaha

THE INVISIBLE HAND OF THE FREE MARKET SHALL GENTLY STROKE YOUR BODY AND IF EVERYTHING IS GOING CORRECTLY YOU WILL CLIMAX MONEY ALL OVER

Man, can I somehow more emphatically type the word 'yes' than simply YES...?

I have literally never fucked up plumbing from flushing mine. I was actually really surprised at the outrage when I mentioned once that I flush instead of wrap because it had never occurred to me to manhandle the nasty, soaked thing. From what I gather, if the flush/wrap situation were a political issue, entire…

Because that would mean it's nuanced and would require us to actively think of things as complex, which is haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard!

I love my home state, but why oh why didn't we double-tap him back in '99 when he left office the first time?!

Oh, it was set in Scandinavia? Well that explains everything! And we all know that Disney has followed every other story they have based their movies on TO THE LETTER and have changed absolutely nothing about it! Nothin' to see here!

There was a kid in elementary school that would NOT. STOP. He kept teasing me on the playground, and I finally told him, "If you don't stop, I'm gonna throw this [a giant chunk of ice] at you." As expected, the little shit did not shut his damn mouth, so I went right ahead and threw the ice chunk at him, which nailed…

My partner's niece is a giant asshole. She's maybe 6 years old and refuses to eat grilled cheese if it's not from Panera. She refuses to say hi or answer simple questions or even acknowledge your existence if she doesn't feel like it. She will refuse to eat what's served to her and whine until someone buys her a Happy…

I'm in the same boat. I went from slinging booze at college night to designing stuff 8+ hours a day at a desk. I've been trying to set alarms to get up and get a drink of water, take a walk at lunch, etc., but I just want to move constantly, goddammit!

Silent, but deadly :(

psst that was sarcasm 8)

I dunno, can we get some other straight people to weigh in on this? Their input would be really valuable in determining whether or not he is, in fact, a homophobe in this case.

You know who's probably not qualified to objectively judge her own inherent level of racial bias?

Hahahahaha, because using children as punishment is the actual responsible thing to do.

I guess I have become pretty shameless, mostly because I think offense over unfriending is totally hilarious and absurd. People who tie their self-worth in with their friend count are the best kind to smash with your disinterest.

Oh, I don't begrudge anyone their annoyance with new parents...I feel the same way and do the same thing as you. I just roll my eyes at the people who go on to complain about people posting baby pictures, or food pictures, or Pinterest crafts — it seems like someone is annoyed by just about anything you post these…

I want to introduce you to a concept, and this may be really hard to hear so I hope your bowels have been recently evacuated — are you ready? Social media has multiple uses for multiple people who have a lot of different interests, wants, desires, and dislikes. The cool part is, you can customize your experience; one…

I'm not saying it wasn't enough — the entire premise of policy changes based on good information about memory formulation in the brain is A-OK by me.