11 AM at the Stab Factory:

[Woke StabCo Employee]: “Wait, you mean these body-shaped things I’ve been stabbing at work every day are people? They were covered with sheets until like last week, but it’s been weird stabbing them when you can see the people. God, this one just screamed! That almost makes me want to stop…

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Nothing will be come of this.

So, I mean, whatever, the analogy is stupid, yes, but if she was going to break out this trope about the inevitability of tax cuts benefitting the rich, maybe she should have TOLD HER BOSS BEFORE HE CLAIMED THAT HIS TAX CUTS WOULDN’T BENEFIT THE RICH.

It’s also a neat monetary fact that, if you start with a penny and double it every day for an entire month, at the end of the month Sarah Huckabee Sanders will still be a total asshole.

Huh, my takeaway from the story was that you should include women in your drinking groups, because they’re less likely than men to resort to violence to solve their disputes.

Re: the brother in-law ordering for the table.

I don’t mind family style in some cases, but what’s the deal with the brother-in-law a) doing all of the ordering and, b) ordering far too little of it to satisfy anybody?? You do family style so you can crowd source that meal and have so much damn food that nobody can walk properly when they leave.

Last guy, D. What the fuck! Isn’t the whole point of going out that everyone can get what they want?

Read this joke somewhere:

BUNK!!!

I want Kenan Thompson to be the host of Family Feud as Steve Harvey. I’d watch the Feud again.

Even my idiotic Confederacy-sympathizing education didn’t act like there was a failure to compromise.

I would have thought Stonewall Jackson was the one who was hung.

I thought Trump had previously said that he never watches TV

If somebody had told me I’d start Tuesday morning thinking for a few seconds about Robert E. Lee’s dick, I’d have called them crazy as fuck.

Seriously this.

*hanged!

I like how the Chief of Staff of the United States of America has a grasp of American history that goes no deeper than any typical Horatio Alger story or Norman Rockwell painting. I’ll bet he gets most of his information from his monthly editions of Readers Digest.