The males are even tinier before they attach to the female, then they actually grow. Without quickly finding a mate, they most likely die (if I was a male angler fish, I would have died long ago).

They should also be honest about the Top Posts section, and stop showing you a different Top Posts section than me (that includes my image, just to give me the false sense of ‘oooh my shit is hot’), that’s super shady.

Nothing like spotting a great happy hour special at one of your favorite restaurants on Instagram then looking more closely to find out that it was actually yesterday...

Officer: “Do you know why I pulled you over?”

Officer: “Do you know why I pulled you over?”

Jesus took the wheel, and apparently didn’t do that great a job of it.

What the fuck is worth going to Maryland for in the first place?

Whose mans is this

He traveled.

I really do want to approach someone and say ‘arglebarglefoxnexs’ at some point though... 

You really could have put more than a poultry effort into these eggsasperating puns.

So they went from selling women to selling chicks? Seems a bit regressive to me but, who am I to cry fowl?

My search brought back different results:

I can’t believe this wasn’t one of those posts with the comments disabled.

Is a tennis ball a sandwich?

Color is a social construct

Easy. Don’t be there.

I dated a woman with a 2-yr old a fews years ago and any time he would trip and fall she always made it worse by overreacting. Well when he would fall on the carpet for instance, he would look at me if I was the only one in the room and I would simply ask him: 

Too bad I can’t afford to live near where I work.