It's not like African Americans today don't know what it's like to be treated badly on the basis of their race. This is ridiculous and dangerous.

Your new name makes it sound like your nickname is "Burt RIMS"

Hahahahahahahhahaaaaaaa!!!!!

Nothing traps electrons! The fuck kind of science is this, HuffPo?!

CassiebearRAWR, I have just fallen madly in love with you.

I want to hear their version.

My hangovers are much milder than they used to be. BECAUSE I LEARNED NOT TO DRINK SO MUCH!!

We outsource makeup artists when we do couples shoots in the photo studio specifically bec our makeup wonder doesn't have much expertise with men, and the gal we hire used to work with men in Hollywood, now retired from film makeup. She does contouring on men with "weak" jawlines to make it pop. Nothing hardcore, but…

I will sell this house today.

Well that explains that.

Agreed.

I have never been so amused by a Tumblr. The one about the fairytale of a door gazing down absolutely killed me, lol.

Good for you. I decided to apply for the Fluffer position instead.

Everyone has flunkies? Where's mine?

This is the best thing that's happened all day.

I have been listening to Low's cover of this song.

You're probably right, then.

Look, buddy, I know it can be obnoxious. I too, sometimes have trouble with food smells and mouth noises. But you gotta realize that you're the one with the problem, not everyone else in the room.

Thank your lucky stars he didn't mention the loudest fruit of all: The Banana!

Fake corporate twitter accounts are my reason for living