Honestly, nobody “accidentally” cheats. They go looking for it. If you are looking to cheat maybe it’s best to be honest with your partner and just leave with a clear conscience.

Bullshit. If you’re willing to bang someone whilst drunk you’re willing to do it again. I do not give one shit about so called stats that say ‘everyone cheats’. Am I supposed to go through life and enter relationships thinking that it’s inevitable and if it happens I should just throw up my hands and say, ‘Oh well,…

why should the cheater make any more choices on their relationship after they cheated. The cheater’s S.O. should decide without influence or being forced to hear some bs reason for cheating. I am actually surprised how many are on here defending cheating even if it is a one night stand. Glad to have an amazing S.O.…

Getting drunk and shoving your dick into places it shouldn’t belong is still wrong. If you do so you should face the consequences. If your partner cant handle you prancing around with your dick then you’re making the right decision just leaving her.

Because it appears either I understand common sense and cause and effect much better than the person that wrote that book, or you misunderstood the conclusions that were reached.

Seriously. Even if it was a “one-time mistake,” the partner deserves to know, and probably deserves better. I’m not even sure how a “one-time mistake” happens. Maybe my libido is broken, because I can’t understand this situation.

I don’t think most people cheat.

You can call it a “psychological study” all you want, what you linked boils down to what one person’s opinion is on the subject not an actual science. Given that, if someone’s opinion is that people just do things that would devastate the people they say they love for no reason, then the person with that opinion is…

that was a book written by one psychologist, not a peer-reviewed study or something of the sort posted in a medical journal somewhere. I have to take that with as big a grain of salt as you’re taking my opinion.

Yeah ppl are moving the goalposts in this thread HARD...all I’m talkin about is the act of cheating in a monogamous relationship (as is the situation laid out in the post itself), and ppl are trying to talk about open relationships and the psychology of getting married too young. At this point, I’m inclined to nod and…

People like to use the “everyone cheats” or “humans are just not monogamous” arguments to justify their own priorities and poor impulse control, but man, what a weak excuse. If you can’t be faithful to one person, ok, but you need to be up front about that, and they need to be able to choose whether or not your…

That’s a big load of horseshit. Cheating is always a sign something is wrong, basically by definition. You don’t do something that would devastate your significant other for no reason. Just because some dumb-asses couldn’t articulate why doesn’t mean nothing was wrong.

Where I disagree with you is the notion that cheating is some uncontrollable out-of-body experience, like somebody cast a spell specifically over your ability to be committed to the one you supposedly love. I know the urge to cheat is there, it’s always there. I mean, shit, I’m a 29 yr old man in south florida with a…

Yeah. “If you want to stay together...” is not fair. Why should only the cheater get to make that choice? Put all the cards on the table and decide together.

It’s unbelievably easy to recommit to something when you have already broken that commitment, found out the other side wasn’t worth it, and got away with the deed cleanly. That’s actually not re-committing, that’s shopping.

In the words of the great Hannibal Buress, name all of the levels specifically. It’s not a narrative I’m creating, it’s reality. If you are cheating, it is (at its most simple) because you value (note i said value, not want) something outside of your relationship more than what’s in it currently.

Yes.

You and I have very different outlooks on this. I don’t know if it’s true that “people cheat all the time”, but if it is, then that really sucks for 50% of the population. (Unless you’re saying that literally everybody is cheating, which I don’t buy either.) Yes, a lot of people cheat on their significant others, but…

I think the thing is, you never get to decide for another person whether or not they’d “rather know” or “rather not.” I don’t know how I’d react if my partner told me he was cheating — whether I would want to work it out, whether I’d need a break, etc. I might be really unhappy knowing. But he doesn’t get to pick for…

If you don’t believe in karma, then this is wonderful advice. Speaking from personal experience (and only that), I would advise to break up if you cheat right away. For whatever reason, that comes back to you somefuckinhow no matter how well you covered your tracks. I am truly convinced of this. It just isn’t worth it…