Some coaches are playing checkers, some are playing chess, most are playing with paste.

Losing to the 49ers is a fireable offense.

Five hours or more and I’ll pop my boots off, but only if I know my feet aren’t stanky, and definitely never without socks.

Should’ve been you, Curt Schilling.

He’s butt.

Hot damn.

It’s just not the same without LeVar Burton. 

I’m guessing those Blue Lives Matters assholes are going to be conflicted as all hell. On the one hand, they’re going to argue that the drunk chick had it coming. On the other, black guy. Truly a Sophie’s choice situation for them.

As long as we also end corn subsidies, funding to the Middle East to stabilize oil production, and tax breaks for oil companies I’m ok with this too.

Bubb Rubb approves

They named it after Brady because this is the car you drive after leaving your pregnant wife.

Oldest trick in the book. Jimmy’s gonna fill his bindle with everyone else’s clothes.

It’s that weird thing that looks like an eagle fart

As an athiest, I take exception to your claim that we all have souls. But keep living the dream.

Can he coach soccer too?

“That was sick! I’m never washing this hair again!”

I’m not greedy. How about a small percentage of your contract? Or, we can pay by the hour. A few hundred an hour seems reasonable. Think of me like a lawyer, but more qualified and more important. You only need a lawyer when you do something wrong, but my services are helpful when you do something right as well.…

Nope. You need it.

I feel like this provision might not hold up in a court of law.