Remember, kids: Never Tweet.

This. If a lotus isn’t leaking, that means it’s empty.

Behind Mike Glennon when god was giving out hair.

If there’s ever a 250m range electric Hudson, I'll be first in line.

Yes, we went from a moderately effective asshole to an ineffective one, so I guess that could be construed as a positive?

As an unwilling constituent of Mr. Hunter’s extremely gerrymandered district which he was essentially gifted due to having his fathers name, all I have to say is: Good Riddance you Fucking Fuckface. Fuck You.

Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as…

The team has released a statement that they were unaware of Heimlich’s neice, but now that they’ve seen her face, they believe her.

Yeah, if the SEC allows Elon to somehow allow non-institutional investors to roll equity into an opaque private structure, I would bet that almost nobody sells. I just have my doubts they’d let this happen.

Not to mention their SWF is literally over a trillion dollars and made a record 131b in returns last year. 70b buy in on tesla is not out of the question by any means.

My friends NUTID and BETRODD would like a word with you out back...

What, you think they made the rule anticipating that someone would play 5 years for the Orioles and want to stay?

That would be playing a VERY long game indeed.

Good question! Lets go to the DustyCam and see what he’s up to!

“John Wall is already pulled over, man. He can’t pull over any farther.”

Because, like Tim Tebow, he couldn’t play his way out of a paper bag.

REGGUULLLGAATTOORRSSSS. MOUNT UP.

...Fuck you kinja

Police have released a still from the security camera which filmed the incident:

Mitsubishi: For when you absolutely, positively hate your life.

Exactly! WHAT IS BIG ICE HIDING FROM US????