Lol. I figure it’s the day before thanksgiving and I’m drinking at 10 in the morning. What better time to bust out the nerd trolling.

“The World Chess Federation (FIDE) announced that his abrupt exit could cost him 10 percent of his winnings, which could delay his anticipated move out of his mom’s basement by up to 6 months.”

Big deal, this 9.99 toolkit can open 100% of your gadgets:

This take is so hot, looking directly at it for more than 5 seconds may result in blindness.

“I want length back there, and I will get it.”

-USMNT Coach Drew Magary, 2016

Yeah, but can you take a raccoon in a fight? Like no weapons?

No, no you can’t.

#COACHTOMSULA

What we need is a man of the people, someone who’s willing to do the odd jobs other coaches think are beneath them. Someone who gets along with the team and practically lives at the stadium.

Say it with me now... Tom-Su-La!!!!

P.S: If the parking lot is part of the stadium, you can replace “practically” with “actually”.…

I guess I’m not alone in receiving alone!
A hundred billion passed-aways, looking for the zooonnnneee...

This is just a reaction to the new name of their rival team, the Oshkosh Hornyhead Chubs.

...hard

“your honor, the plaintiffs in this case are seeking remuneration for damages in the form of PBR vouchers and beard oil”

I believe the massive amount of extra words in the name are used as padding for the occupants in the event of a crash.

Catching lava-frogs and slipped.

Learning to be a space ninja is never a waste of time.

I suppose in some parts of the country that might be viable. I live in San Diego so my innate cost of living estimation is probably skewed.

If your total tax liability is less than 7500 for the year, you probably shouldn’t be buying a brand new minivan.

I know it is. It’s my mustang.

“Officer, the drinking is totally legal. What’s the difference between my house and my car, really?”

Next step: Up the resolution. THOUSANDS OF DROOONNEESSSSS

Seriously, these people are so dumb. I’m tempted to just get in my spaceship and go to outer space and do my ninja training there instead, just to get away from these freaking liars on the internet.