“The car has only a roll bar instead of a full cage to reduce overall weight.”

Safety first! Or, well, at least third-ish.

Well duh. Nobody does leg day on friday.

Ahhhhh. That makes sense now.

Would it be cool if I actually had? Because, despite having almost no exciting sex stories ever, I actually have done it in a canoe.

Lake Faucherie, CA, 1995ish? 96?

If everyone he drove home was even drunker than he was, isn’t it still a net positive?

#rationalizationFTW

“It’s canoe fucking.”

I do not understand this.

Not exactly Citizen Kane, is it?

Not exactly Citizen Kane, is it?

Yeah, see, it’s OK!

*looks at light bar on front of FiST*

God damn you guys.

The final straw was when they started making out her paychecks to “Collagen Dominguez”

Haha, no worries. I <3 my little fist no matter what.

Right? What losers.

*looks at FiST with tune and mud flaps*

Wait, he’s talking about ME!!!

I don’t know, maybe you should ask your editor. Fuckin media.

Reporters these days need to get their facts straight.

HIPAA has two A’s, moron. Get your facts straight.

This comment is much less funny now that he fixed his. it used to say “Why can’t be grasp that”

Because they are far too small and their brains are full of honey.

They live in a war torn country where most of the territory is ruled by tribal warlords in a neo-feudal system.

These people have seen some shit.

God I love that guy. Greatest music vids of all time.

“Maybe I hit the fountain of youth in the next month and I play another 10 years,”

Not if he’s throwing to it, that’s for sure.

Does this explain why nobody has seen John Elway and Carly Fiorina in the same room?