@AmphetamineCrown: He has extra doors and dummy computers in his house. The lawyer on retainer doesn't hurt either.

@bazookafox: Hi, this is Bandit with AT&T Customer Care. We appreciate your comments and suggestions and continue to strive to provide you with top tier service. I will have to ask you to stop suggesting or making jokes about contacting our CEO or we will be forced to take legal action. Thanks for your continued…

@ilovetofu: I got 3.5% this year. OH SNAP, WHO WANTS SOMETHING FROM THE VALUE MENU ON BANDIT?!

@nutbastard: Public transportation is difficult in Houston. Some spots, it makes sense. In others, it doesn't. It takes me 15 minutes to get to work (no traffic, really) from my house. If I took the bus it would take 2 hours... what?

@Stem_Sell: I see what you did there. *high five*

@twitchykun(lvl. 75 JDM Hoon): Ever seen a grown man naked?

All of them gorgeous, all of them white. How about some color, David?