Future emails? Might want to worry about Hillary’s PAST emails at this point bud.

I want to keep my expectations low but I want to come out of the theater liking the movie. So...

I am still filled with Old Canon knowledge that seeing a Star Destroyer operating in atmosphere and not immediately crashing makes my eye twitch.

In totally unrelated news, I will remain single forever.

Losers unite!

343 pissed me off with their garbage crowd shilling video garbage they are cramming into the Halo Channel, they used to have cool stuff like Forge tutorials but they threw that all away for marketing videos they don’t need.

When I die on my way to work because the subway tunnel is made of bacon, the blood is on your hands, pal...

I used to think bacon went with everything until I finally tried a chocolate-bacon combo. I didn’t like it. My expectations had been so high, and they were laid so low. I can get with you on “everything is made of bacon except chocolate”.

When Kirby catches you playing pokémon you know we’ve gone full Nintendo.

I get that reference.

Upon seeing the Pokemon, Kirby opened his mouth and sucked only to take in the White House dog.

Dude, fuck almond milk. It’s too thin and almonds are bullshit.

This is the second deliberately-ignorant Cattelan-bashing piece on Gawker Media within a week. I hope GM fully realises that this is a perpetuation of exactly the same type of wilfully “my ignorance is as good as your informed perspective” genre of non-thought that your writers ascribe to Trump supporters.

I searched for dangerous water slides and this popped up.

Psssh. I was blowing absurd amounts of money on pointless shit over a 4 year period before it was even cool.