It’s hard for me to let my eyes rest at the end of the day without the latest Ariana nugget from her high-priced publicity machine.

I have never been more attracted to Zac Efron in my life.

Hazel, how could you forget Rashida Jones??? I didn’t even know she was seeing somebody, and the world didn’t know there was a baby until MONTHS after the actual birth happened. Now that is incredible, especially since she was still very much going out about town.

I judge for homeschooling, despite the fact that I was partially home-schooled and had a positive experience with it.

It’s nobody’s fucking business. Given how some celebrities are hounded, it’s a minor miracle that they aren’t all like Sia in public, nevermind talking about their families.

Vaccines are the only thing I actually judge other parents on. Breastfeeding? Good for you, not for me. Co-sleeping? Good for you, not for me. Homeschooling? Good for you, not for me.

Antivaxxers are so goddamn stupid

The flu KILLS. No, you didn’t get the “flu” last year after you got a flu shot because you developed a “fever” of 99.2 and felt achy, UGH. A reality TV celeb posted a picture on instagram of her arm with band aid talking about getting the flu shot and one for her baby, and she had to take it down and ISSUE AN APOLOGY…

better watch out for that autism. /s

I took myself and the kids last month to get vaccinated. I’ve been harassing Mr. Levy ever since to get his shit together and get one. He said something about just not getting it this season yesterday and I read him the riot act.

I have always generally wondered about people who stay together ‘for the kids’. For why??????

omg, people JUST DO IT.

A disturbing amount of people in my Facebook feed, people I’ve always known to be thoughtful and intelligent, are outright shitting on the idea of getting a flu shot, OR, saying they got a flu shot and now they feel sick and regret doing it/won’t ever get one again... everyone’s peddling their keto diet this and fish…

Seriously, if you can do it, don't hesitate. The flu is definitely NOT just like a cold so it's worth the bother.

“Me and Tristan will deal with him and I”

The Jessie j / Jenna thing is dumb. They DO look alike. Like, a lot alike. Dude obviously has a type. I don't think it was necessary for her to write a long screed on the notes app but whatever

I have a vast storehouse of stock phrases from Real Housewives of New York that I use on my husband. I’m a contractor/freelancer who survives on the goodwill of clients, and am haunted by the fear of accidentally emailing, “Hello, my sweet!” (that’s what Luann said constantly during the first season; she seems to have…

He pretty much immediately texted back something like, “Happy to hear you’re having great sex!” And I was mortified.

Oh, god.

I once wrote a, what I thought, seductive and clever text to an ex lover, after I came home drunk and had taken an ambien. Some time during that process I passed our. When I woke up the next morning, I searched for my phone and then saw to my horror that whole rambling idiotic text - that had not been sent yet. I ever…