3/7/2017, 5am’ish.
MOMJEANS
m0m-jeans
I’ve shared this before, but I lost my 16 year old daughter to suicide 5/29/16. There is not one thing that her father and I would not have done to save our beautiful girl. And this fucking bitch can sleep at night????? Our entire family continually thinks about the “what ifs” surrounding her death. And this bitch can…
Available at Bed, Bath and Beyond (with a 20% off coupon, obvs). Worth every damn penny. Various sizes (I myself have a runner along my long island, plus a doormat size one for the spot in front of my stove. Get ye to BBB, post haste! (BTW - sign up for the BBB email list and you get them in the mail all the time -…
You are Sasha Farts.
You Yonce!
I have a food baby bump after eating a massive burrito (enchilada style w/ red chile sauce in case you were wondering) and I’m also wearing a men’s XXL bright green t-shirt so am I Beyonce or am I Beyonce?
As part of my birthday gift a couple years ago, Mr. Nom gave me carte blanche to get wasted and hide in the guest room the following day while he lied to our child and said I was out running errands. I didn’t emerge until about 4:00 PM and, honestly, I probably should have stayed in a couple more hours but I felt bad…
I have a tattoo in exactly that place. I’ve had one child and am pregnant with another. My tattoo is just fine, thanks. Maybe don’t confront people about what they feel like doing to their own bodies, eh? Maybe she can’t have children, maybe she’ll never want them, maybe she’s trans, maybe it’s none of your…
“It’s just the way that it goes sometimes, and it’s sad.”
...curl up in the fetal position and hide until everyone forgets about her getting obliterated?
Also, “Jonathan Hay”? I see you Nicki.
I’ve lost 28 pounds!!! Not related to the election, but as part of my new years resolution to be healthier.
I had a friend who called to speak with the sales manager Al when she was buying a car. There were two Als and when they asked for a last name she said the first thing that came to mind which was “Al Sharpton” it’s been like 5 years and we still give her a hard time about it.
One time in college i was talking to my dad on the phone in front of my roommates in our apartment. I said “spur of the moment” but it came out “sperm of the moment.” My roommates died of laughter , my dad ignored it, I was so embarrassed. That’s how I think Savannah Guthrie felt on a global scale today. I saw it, she…
I highly attribute this to a very weird form white guilt Jezzies have. Everything having to do with PoC gets the loudest praises. As if, “look at me, look at me, Im agreeing with a PoC” “look at me, I think a black person is hot.” As a PoC it just makes me feel cringey and odd inside. I can’t explain it. Don’t believe…
God this whole situation is barf worthy. Moonlight JUST MADE FUCKING HISTORY, and instead of talking about that, we’re talking about the big fuckup of the night and giving Justin Horowitz praise for doing something any decent human being should do. SNORE. Give me an article about how fucking groundbreaking and…
Mine looking unimpressed
Hey everybody! It was crazy weather this afternoon! My friends and I were going to Olive Garden for lunch, and on the way there, the blue sky got really dark and the wind got really strong, and while we were in the restaurant, it started pouring buckets of rain outside, and there were flash floods and a tornado…
Huh? What’s “fucked up if true”? That I don’t let people sleep on my couch? Fuck that. People are gross and oily and smelly and it has taken me too goddamn long to get sober, buy nice things and build myself a cozy place to call home. Want a good night’s sleep? Go the fuck home.