The thing about these events is that you invite the whole team, and nobody comes

solving a solution is next level woke

go to your room

Dad?

LaVar Ball, On Swimming Across The Atlantic The Day After His Son’s Big Game: “It Is Nothing For Me To Swim Across The Atlantic, I Do It All The Time”

WHAT!

Having a drink before a flight is kind of amazing. Was not expecting it to make things so smooth for me. 10/10, would suck down free well liquor in the Captain’s Lounge again.

I’d rather have the flight delayed, and then canceled, and then the pilot quits, and then the airline goes out of business, and then the airport shuts down, and then all flights are grounded, and then humans lose the knowledge necessary for mechanical flight, than be on a barf plane.

Delay delay delay; this is the only correct answer. The worst part about modern (economy) air travel is that you’re strapped into a cramped tube for hours as you’re thrown across the sky. Why would you want to make that even more hellish with the addition of everyone barfing? With no place to escape from the smell and…

I feel like this would be an easier choice if your delay came with a $100 voucher for an airport bar. You know, so you could buy two drinks.

During a “movie” date with someone way out of my league

Rest easy knowing that the out-of-your-league girl had already decided it wasn’t happening before the explosive diarrhea, since you had taken her to Domino’s.

go on..

In my market, NBA, NHL, MLB, WNBA, MLS and a Gutter you might choose to live in...all have codes for the next day for 50% off if those teams win.

actually, dominoes thin crust is the leader in the clubhouse for that particular need. Or so I’ve heard..

how on earth did you come to the conclusion that brisket is Midwestern thing? It’s a Texas thing.

Worst in recent history was the 2003 Tigers. 43W, 119L for a 26% win percentage. Before them, the ‘62 Mets with 25%.

Yes, this is the correct take. The MLB isn’t built for parity like the NFL or the NBA. It’s especially difficult if you’re a fan of a shitty small-market baseball team. The window for a small-market MLB team to be competitive is so incredibly small.

In what league is it most depressing to follow a shitty team? My money is on the NFL – I think bad football is a more blatantly unwatchable product than bad baseball or basketball.

He was previously with Jeff Fuckstache Fisher so throwing 9 touchdowns in a season is kind of astonishing given how awful Fisher was as a coach.