Dick issued a statement that, even if it’s metaphorically true, if Justin Bieber is the one that is doing the sucking, Dick wants no part of it whatsoever.

Only in San Francisco can you get a 69er for 49.

Hey Tom,

Have we ruled out the possibility that Dick is whom he is sucking?

How hard are you yanking? If it’s longer than 4 hours, consult a medical professional.

While I agree there have are lots of low information voters, that has ALWAYS been the case. Many people can’t be bothered to become fully engaged in politics. Furthermore, this applies to both sides of the political spectrum. It’s the job of the candidate, the party, and their supporters to create and simplify a…

AMERICA IS NOT GREAT UNTIL IT IS ALL CAPS GREAT

...something to do while pooping at work.

A pig pooped on a bear’s balls? That just seems reckless.

Don’t forget pigs pooping on their balls, too

Ashley’s mom has like 47 sock-puppet kinja accounts for posting “stick to writing about sports,” doesn’t she?

Thanks for the warning. Can we move on now? Some of us didn’t like either of the candidates and just want this nightmarish election cycle to end. We get it, Trump is “literally Hitler” and a real poopy head, but you know what? I heard practically the same kinds of things from conservatives when Obama was elected.…

Have you been to Texas?

When I think of Jacksonville, I picture this shit football team, alligators, and families on road trips to Disney looking for directions.

In a poll taken after Bradley’s firing the overwhelming numbering of responses fell into two main categories:

Anyone been to one of those escape rooms? I’m thinking strongly of making it happen with some friends.

If you ask me (thanks for asking!) Maddon overmanaged in Games 6 and 7. He overused Chapman in 6, yanked Hendricks too early in Game 7, and then I’d say he took out Lester too early as well. But I also suppose you could say Francona overused Miller, and he paid for that in Game 7.

Maybe Maddon thought Chapman should be the one taking a beating for a change.

Shots fired! (slight tittering at overused phrase) NO I MEAN IT

Opossums are known for only one thing: Being hit by cars at night.