Exactly. At this point, with all the quality streaming and TV options out there, coupled with the availability of review aggregators and the speed of bad word-of-mouth on social media, I’d say the key to getting audiences back into theaters should be pretty simple:

Why did they decide to kill the A.V. Club? Why?

God, I hope you’re right.

Ok, folks... time for a little reality check.

The informed audience is really putting a dent in shitty blockbusters.

Fucking yes. It’s not that summer movies suck inherently, it’s that these ones in particular were shit.

“Americans aren’t seeing summer movies anymore.”

The problem is they are making movies for international audiences as well as domestic, so these movies “suck” because they are all as generic as possible to be as popular as possible. I’m so tired of seeing some city get destroyed by some beam of light or something in cartoon after cartoon set piece.

Those liberal Hollywood types, if they would just make movies without so much sex, the mongrelazation of the races, degenerate lifestyles and language, my goodness dear me, the language! We need movies you can take the whole family to with moral values that promote clean Christian living by moral men of great…

Really? I can’t tell much of a difference.

You’re getting the ads though, right? 🇺🇸

“Wait, you mean the multiple felonies I’ve bragged about longing to commit in the service of a cause that everyone hates causes actual legal consequences when I commit said felonies and makes everyone hate me?!” Who’d have fuckin thunk?

Word on the street is “hahahha....no.”

Oh dear sweet lord, you made it. I feel a little better.

Good. Let ‘em experience a little slice of the terror that minorities, women, and LGBT+ folks have felt nearly every day for countless centuries. He at least has the luxury of choosing NOT to be a fucking Nazi.