Oh, so when La Russa squeezes into a booth unannounced, he’s “defending the truth.” But when I do it, I’m “drunk” and “not welcome in this IHOP anymore.”

Never plan on winning?

Thank you. This man is a monster, and as he gets further along his “aw shucks but I’m the nice candidate” veneer is starting to crack. The only reason no one has noticed before is because he’s competing with actual Voldemort.

Listen, a lot can happen between now and November. Earthquakes? The plague? Large scale zombie invasions? Who’s to say who will still be alive by then to be on the ballot.