This is not a one-off event. Surgical fires are a thing — rare but not unheard of. It's the combination of whatever alcohol-based product is used to clean and prep the area, oxygen, and cauterizing tools. I think — I'm just repeating something I heard about it recently. It's a big enough deal that a few years ago…

Huh. My preferred method has always been to sing Won't You Be My Mentor, to the tune of the Mr. Rogers song. This may explain my mentor dry spell.

Forget how the babies feel — if by the transitive property you have just compared your cat to a forgotten head of red cabbage, I hope your cat (a) doesn't read jezebel and/or (b) is less vengeful than mine.

Well, maybe more of a white and silver whine . . . but yeah.

That cartoon baby's tongue-out, thumbs-down move is pretty great.

People of Earth, and especially of The Internets:

I think what I've read about her before is that she pounds a few pepsis to stretch out her stomach immediately before a competition.

She never moved into this one. I think she continued to stay at the watertower place until the end of the show, and she still owns it.

Hugo, stop trying to make "turkey drop" happen.

Oh my, uncontrollable church giggles are a good look on those two, thanks!

Oooh, they're done now. Right quick, that was.

Yes, it is, if by unfortunate you mean awesome.

Hi Jule, love your podcast, and I feel like we are gal-pals. Which is why it pains me to tell you, girl, this is messed up.

aha, so maaaaybe that does explain how that came to pass. thanks for the hard facts.

In birth order theory, if a gap between children is big enough, the second kid actually is considered an oldest child. I think it's 7 years, and might even be a bit shorter than that if the kids are different genders. So if you space your kids out enough, you could have an entire family of children with oldest child…

Your last paragraph is exactly my thought. Seeking out and tracking down a Hooters representative is baffling.

I think they might be in about the right order as is.

Hi Elizabeth Reaser.

She is adorable and I love her, but that was not so hot. The David Gregory link, however, is my new favorite thing. And I predict it will remain so until you post some adorable TGIF animal later today. What can I say, I'm fickle.

An after-care tip that I learned on a prior Jezebel hair-down-there discussion, and I think it is genius, so I'm sharing it back: to help with irritation, rub your deoderant on the newly hairless skin. The same ingredients that make it soothing for your pits will work here too. Probably even more beneficial after…