I had to hit SHIFT for each capital letter because the TV keypad had no caps lock

Go to better restaurants.

Always stings when they remind you that you’re just part of the help.

LiAngelo probably thought the shopkeepers would be just like LaVar and not pay any attention to him.

I married a corny guy and I hope my daughter does too.

So, so many pics of old man balls are in some intern’s future.

My dude has played too much Tekken to be impressed by the weak-ass karate game Evra is bringing.

FOR THE RECORD (imo): Candy corn is way, way, way better than fruitcake or mint juleps.

Or maybe he’s a fucking idiot that got wasted, forgot he ordered food, and pointed a gun in the face of a girl delivering his food.

They look equal parts sloppy, disinterested, and arrogant.

The fact that we call Century Link Field “the Clink” is all the more ironic.

2015 Russell Wilson is back. Dude is having some serious sex.

They’re just like kids sentenced as adults out there.

To Live And Die In MA

I’ve been toying with the idea of returning to Cincinnati eventually, to be closer to my family but after that last story. nope, newp,nopers, no thanks, never.

And in the spirit of things, my biggest and most unusual fear would probably be ants.