"And check out these shoes! How does she walk in those platforms?"

Well, I'm currently upset with Fox News for not giving any airtime to the truth, but whaddyagondo?

Nope. It's schlong.

It used to be a fairly common Southern tradition: http://www.nytimes.com/1984/02/13/us/…

Classic smoker's tongue.

And it appears that the sweatpant is only covering her calf. Single fleece legwarmer?

Awww. I REALLY wanted to see Lauren Conrad go GI Jane. Meh. She probably just would have ended up looking like Miley Cyrus, so whatevs.

Yeah, when all they ask you to do with your toothbrush is 2 minutes.

She's supposed to be so edgy and envelope-pushing. Meh. I've never found her remotely funny either. And when I ask friends that like her why/how they find her funny, I can never get a straight answer.

I'm really thinking Matthew McConaughey really is like this, and no fucks are given on his part:

I have a feeling he's going to look like Vanilla Ice. But if that's your thing, go for it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I had an "ambush wedding" and as a matter of fact, I was ambushed, too. My husband is a brave man. I knew I was getting engaged that day. I had no idea I would be married that day, too. We were having a big house-warming/anniversary party/birthday party - all these different…

Yes. And I also see this in my head:

Or: