Uhh, just to be clear, Dan Le Batard is not a member of the Marlins organization and did not participate in the sale of the team. I’m not sure why what he expected to happen should matter in this context. I fully expect the college-aged kids of my neighbor to throw empty beer cans onto my property next summer, but…

“There’s your fookin wall, ya fat cunt”

The NCAA would certainly step in if they found a player got paid $5 to wash the car of a booster’s cousin seven years ago, though.

associating this with demeaning cerebral palsy is quite a reach.

Says you!

“One time I drank several too many Smithwick’s at a pub quiz, and the following morning had the worst beer shits in the history of mankind.”

I think it’s because he’s so damned sincere about his bro-ness and is far more goofy than he is douchey.  He’s like a big, stupid puppy that does dumb shit but but he’s endearingly harmless.

You lost me at “Gronk reading”.

I’d bet all the money in my pocket that Gronk gets confused when he reads in general.

I’d bet all the money in my pocket that Gronk gets these confused when reading comics

Gronk: Bro! That was sweet! Want to celebrate?

“He only did it to get attention because he was losing his job, and now that he has one again, he stopped” or something like that.

That’s assuming he wants to redeem himself to his inmates.

Given that he’s a graduate of Baylor, he could’ve done a whole lot of crazy shit worse than smoking weed.

I hope he plays again and kneels during the anthem because we could power the entire nation from the heat that would be generated by the takes that would come from that.

What a dumbass. If he had just beaten up his girlfriend or child like a normal NFL player instead of smoking weed, he would have been reinstated a lot sooner.

He should have said “slaves running the plantation,” but that only applies to college athletics.

So his point is that black people are dumb right?

Bruh:

Or someone not “smart” enough to ask their “barber” not to make them look like a “complete asshole.”