Because it gets rid of my double chin and laugh lines! DAMN you Michelle!

Today real babies are masquerading as adults and fake babies are taking the place of real babies. This is NOT RIGHT.

Jesus is his most welcoming self with black shark eyes.

I have a woman in my Facebook feed who is soft-focusing and photoshopping herself into an eerie resemblance to:

look how stoked that baby is

I've got her baby right here.

White people names.

She was originally going to go with Summer Eve, but decided that would be too douchey...

Looks like a case of obscene retouching.

I don't normally feel the need to snark at hippie names—they are what they are and word names are kinda nice—but Summer Rain?

Huh? My cat clearly adores me. He would also often aggressively hump me before I had him de-sexed. Ewww if I had have responded in kind and stimulated him sexually. It would have been a gross act of abuse - not a transcendental 'love experience'.

He also compares zoophilia to interracial dating, hoping that one day, the former may be as acceptable as the latter.

I got to the I could talk to Dolly telepathically and went nope. You sir have a screw loose.

10,000% true btw. To be fair, my relative did not know that the family were horsefuckers until after she got married. She got a few of them into therapy and then bailed like a sane person.

Yeah, these two articles could not have been more perfectly timed.

Me reading that line.

OH BOY. I was all . . . well, if it's consensual, I'm not gonna judge! And then:

Oh so it's fine for Helena Bonham Carter to get naked with a fish, but not for this guy to bone a dolphin? I see how it is!

I'm the same with Lush. I don't shop there any more because I don't really like their things...maybe I would if I had a bath. But the sales pitch, ugh!