Okay, this may be one of the grossest things I've read in a while, even by your standards. Like, this is truly beyond the pale.

The thing is, I just don't buy that thing about men not "being as competent" at the admin shit as women. I've heard this a lot, and it's such a crock. Answering the phone is a simple task. So are things like opening a letter and seeing that the contents are actioned or filed appropriately. Don't even get me started on…

My Mommy Dearest gave me a lecture about Not Having Premarital Sex when I first went on birth control pills. I had endometriosis, missed 3-4 days of school every month and had never even been kissed.

Punks are very opinionated about what is and isn't punk. I was all prepared to be like that's not punk! But shit, ya got me, I dig it.

Friday the 13th.

Listen, we all know the reason guys want marriages on Valentine's Day is so the anniversary will be easy to remember. #RealTalk

No, dummies! You're supposed to propose on February 13 to distract your partner from the fact that you didn't get him/her/it anything for Valentine's Day.

Getting divorced on Valentine's Day — now that's an idea I can get behind.

OH JESUS.

I'm always not quite sure how to feel about that statement. Certainly, autism has been cast as the boogeyman of the anti-vaccine movement. Most people with autism can function and do okay.

SO MUCH YES.

Ugh, seriously. I mean, congrats to him and all, he's the new Adele, etc., but I still find him insufferable.

Azealia...girl...no. You are not allowed to define what a slur means unless you are the object of that slur. And even then, it's a slippery slope. Please stop.

This is the same logic white people use when explaining their use of the n word. "It's not a word against black people, it's a word against ignorant people!" No. For the most part, when the word is used, it's either used from one black person to another or a non-black person calling black people niggers. You don't get…

Oh my god, seriously. Just because she also hates Iggy Azalea doesn't mean she's awesome. The enemy of my enemy is sometimes still just a huge fucking douchebag.

Hi, can people stop defending Azealia Banks NOW?

"Double crap! He touched me down there and my inner goddess shat her pants! My subconscious rolled her eyes and puffed a meerschaum pipe."

Jamie Dornan, you're making it hard for me not to pity you, even though you're making a jabillion dollars from this shitshow.