This just in.

It’s a move I’ve seen more in the Arena League.

Should’ve called a chop-block on that concrete wall though...

S-E-C! S-E-C!

That’s certainly going to hurt his draft stock. No breakaway speed and trouble breaking tackles.

It’s the Yankee way. Nobody loved trim more than Jeter.

Ben Carson used to confuse the fuck out of me. Then I saw ‘Get Out’, and NOW he makes sense.

This is good news for Ezeli, but I am sad to hear about Greg Oden’s passing.

Nailed the Corolla.

Twitch streaming didn’t almost kill you, being sedentary and not exercising almost did.

If you looked at the part of this guide that talked about how people were going to think you hate them, but you’re not really the asshole, and it made sense to you, you’re probably the shitty co-worker.

FTFY

The Beast is a Caddy.

A CNN correspondent covering the story on the ground noted in her dispatch that the president, “travels in a limo called ‘The Beast’ that is armor-plated,” like an actual super-villain.

I can’t approve of throwing things at vehicles. Even Trump’s. Next time, kids, just flip him off.

He tried to paraphrase what Politico wrote and failed. Here’s the original:

That is dangerous and his YMCA membership should be REVOKED.

Sounds like you need to refocus your synergies into a new paradigm shift.

A still-unsolved mystery: Where did Lady Gaga go after finishing her performance by leaping from the stage and catching a football? Maybe she’s falling still...