I can’t explain how happy this made me. I’ve been watching Nunes and Jordan dry hump each other the last two weeks and was getting depressed. Thank you, bird mother of Jacksonville, and thank you internet people of Earth. 

Just going off the headline here but this is really great, and it could also have environmental benefits.

Besides, I prefer my Western spirituality staples, like my coffee maker and Sonos speakers.

Pro tip: use a water stone to easily file the paperclip end to a point to make it more stab-efficient.

TMI, but here we go anyway: I tried the not cleaning my ears except visible wax through high school, college, and a few years after. Then during a check up my doctor pulled out a roughly planet-sized chunk of wax from deep in each ear. They were huge, much bigger than I thought could fit in there. Truly gigantic and…

Cheese is at least tasty. Ice cream is the shit, even though it seems poised to kill me. Yogurt is questionable, but I respect other people’s right to enjoy it.

This times a million. And coffee with half and half is literally keeping me alive.

Wait, you don’t cry when you masturbate?

Plus it’s also Movember so every time you look in the mirror you get horny.

More like FASCISTBOOK, right guys? ...guys?

Witch hunt, how clever! *sips Peach Mint cocktail*

Of course she wouldn’t, that’s literally why she married him! 

It is now mandatory that every Trump story begins with “Florida man...,” like “Florida man commits impeachable offense during spittle-infused press conference,” or “Florida man uses Secret Service to hide golf cheating.”

Just wanted to check and see how the logo looked in gray (though red would be much better..)

Will speaks the truth for many of us.

I don’t think photoshop was a word back then, but for sure his nickname had “obvious” in it and was meant to ridicule him.

This. And I hereby solemnly swear to click on whatever sponsored posts he needs to keep NotSportsSpin afloat.

I don’t know how to answer this and it is stressing me out. I wish we could snap our fingers and have a writer-owned co-op website to replace kinja, with all the same writers, commenters, and content. 

They do, but those cables aren’t actually connected to anything, they just threw them on the table for affect.

They weren’t booing, they were saying “TWOOOOO thirds of the Senate”