*the hot popular girl in my high school bumps into me in the hallway before shooting me a derisive sneer and going to make out with her football player boyfriend*

I’m really looking forward to their on court bro down in game 3.

“John in St. Louis, you’re on with BS with CS”

I did nazi that at first glance

Cardinals fan: [immediately becomes huge Zobrist fan]

Let’s cut the guy some slack on his day off. It’s not easy being a St. Louis policeman.

Kelly Olynyk knew.

The real disappointment was his constant eating prevented him from mating despite the trainers’ best efforts.

Except for that one part where the ball beats him by a full step. But, yeah.

Panda: Eats, Leaves

Wrong. Go check the record for the most shot attempts in a single game.

And then the rest of us will mention that he is a rapist.

Ah yes, that’s Kobe, always sacrificing individual success for the good of the team.

Manziel says he and Gordon are testing themselves and staying positive.

Some asshole stole Bartolo Colon’s belt and is showing it off in the background.

The only aliens allowed at Augusta are the grounds crew.

“I will be able to say ‘I’ve shared a bath with a Masters winners”

“What duress IDK mean?”

I could’ve told you this months ago. Me and my 15 year old friends only use Snap Chat to talk.

Yeah, no shit Facebook. Why am I seeing shit from friends of friends in my feed? Fix your goddamned privacy so not every single person I’m friends with sees EVERY SINGLE THING I do on your fucking platform, and maybe I’ll want to consider sharing certain things, like a video of me wiping my ass. It’s really…