I think it’s obvious he didn’t see his tie rack and ran his hand right into it.

Wake up sheeple

TOM BRADY DEFLATED THE FOOTBALLS AND PEYTON MANNING DID PEDS AND RUSSELL WILSON HAS NEVER HAD SEX AND CAM NEWTON STILL HAS THAT FUCKING LAPTOP SOMEWHERE AND ANDY REID IS ACTUALLY TWO ANDY REIDS WEARING AN ANDY REID SKIN SUIT AND BRUCE ARIANS AND SAMUEL L. JACKSON GO HAT SHOPPING TOGETHER AND TIM TEBOW IS BEING…

Stevie Wonder isn’t blind

As a fan, it was nice to see Vince Young have one last disappointing drive.

Calm down there, Satan.

Let’s play “spot the Patriots fan”

Hue, Lue, in the News.

Or, it's an ingenious way to be "closed," but still make sure your entire workforce shows up.

most shocking part of this is that there is a workplace in North Carolina that only employs one person named Dale

I used to buy drugs from a guy named Dale in High Point. Fuck that guy.

Yeah I don’t think she’s into it, I’ll have to keep listening to the song.

If you order takeout in terrible conditions, you are a garbage person. End of story.

Why is there a handicap spot on the top floor though?

“Don’t even bring me into this, Russ. You lost. Period. Frankly, I wasn't even watching."—God

For one thing, the cop’s shooting percentage would be sky-high.

unfortunately he came back to plant a murder weapon.

After winning the fucking World Series, you should really change your handle.

“Harris, I want you to get out there and suck the shit out of 87’s dick. He’ll never have a chance to get off the line!”