I have a date with Eudora Welty!
(off stage LOUD and PROLONGUED belch)
Coming, Eudora!

Agree. Came here to say just this, but you did it much better. 

I mean, “Why I Live at the P.O.” was Eudora Welty living for petty like all true Southerners, myself included, secretly or not so secretly do.

Yeah, definitely.  The concept of anyone named “Trump” passing up an opportunity to cheat is a very new one.

This sounds great and all, but my split from Jen was very acrimonious. She totally refuses to talk to me and constantly threatens me with arrest and other legal measures. She even goes so far as to pretend she doesn’t know me. So much for “love”.

To me, dating Jennifer Aniston is like living in Hawaii. I live in Seattle. Slogging through the rain makes me think that living in a place like Hawaii must be paradise. And yet, every time I’ve been to Hawaii, I’ve met people who live there and can’t wait to move to Seattle.

dont try to persuade him. but do encourage him to make sure his will and life insurance and all policies are up to date.

Wait, I thought it was that these two are the same person?

It’s weird to think what would have happened if the mango shitgibbon had kicked it back then. Pence takes over, presides over the happiest period of ‘mourning’ in American history, loses the election in a landslide, peaceful transition of power, Republicans desperately trying to keep a straight face when saying how…

If her demon father didn’t have the decency to croak when he had it, she’s not going to change any minds. This slobbering orc audience probably will drink bleach or cut themselves in half to let the ultraviolet light in first.

A friend of mine made what I think is a really astute statement. Basically, the gist was that Trump’s followers are in charge now. No politician, not even Trump himself, can sway them as much as their own lumpen collective mentality. Trump is basically Dr. Frankenstein at this point, rather than the leader of a…

Oh, yeah. The hardcore lumpen are never getting the shot, no matter who endorses it. But maybe if some people see Fascist Barbie here getting, it might spur them to go for it.

Okay. My petty gay ass’s first thought was: well at least she’ll have less followers. But honestly, good, I’m glad that she is putting this out there. People need to ignore her father’s ignorance (is that a double negative?) and get the fucking vaccine so that the rest of us can live our lives again.

Don’t understand why men who want to play the field get together with women who want to be monogamous. They could be with any number of other women but they gotta waste time of the lady who is clearly all about marriage. Maybe she should have known he was a dog. But he should have known she wanted traditional marriage…

🤨 what the dueces is he doing stalking her then? 

I see couple of things happening with this Colton discourse.

You couldn’t find a better picture than one of a lab in which they’re preparing to test things in rabbit’s eyes?  Because that’s what that is. 

Agreed. Did Major sexually harass a world leader or offer the Medal of Honor to a war criminal? No? Then he’s fine.

Dunno what Britney is trying to say but if that was my phone the message would be “My sister’s cat is stepping all over the screen. #FreeBritney”

This is nice, bad behavior in the White House that doesn’t make you want to crawl under a table.