Oh good. Trump has released version 342.0 of iAsshole.

Too bad we can’t also charge people for being a Piece of Actual Shit. Sentence: rocket into the sun.

My brain is half-melted, so I’ll just say ahahdhdjsgdhdhdhdd 😍

It’s got what assholes crave!

My last birthday party had a “soft sensuality” because I couldn’t get Beyonce there, either.

At this point in my life, my goal is to be boycotted by Trumpettes. Mama needs that publishing money, yo. Off to make my next villain an orange Russian nesting doll with a wig!

OMG Saudi ladies, how I love you all the way from California. May we all resist with such humor and intellect!

If the humor is organ-ic, I’ll throw my eyeballs at it. Even if I can’t put my finger on why my gut is busting, I adored Better Off Ted.

Brava to Jan! I pray more principled Christians oppose Orange Hitler publicly. It’s the only possible way other evangelicals will pay attention.

Stories like this make me purse my lips. We women are told to Celine in to succeed, but sometimes you must call a Kate Spade a spade—she’s a Guccheat.

FUCK OFF, 2016

All hail!

Hopefully we’ll be rounded up and left alone to create the Matriarchal Utopia we were promised by lazy reporters.

Will Herr Trump make us all get fake orange spray tans?! I would look terrible in fake orange spray tan. It will clash with my fake red hair in the Pussy Internmet Camp!

Jesus, this is a horrifyin—

Ah, so this movie will be our collective birth control once they dismantle Obamacare.

The inception is so damn delicious! It’s INCEPELICIOUS!

Ugh. It’s so grossly telling that this fabulous female show gets cancelled at this point in time. We gals have been getting just a little too uppity.

This is all great. Definitely not one more Satanic sign that we’re all about to burn in a firestorm borne of Bill O’Reilly stupidity. When the wax family melts, it’s time to get into the bunker!

Wow, thank you for this.