Anchor’s is good. Otherwise just whatever is local.

That joke’s barely good enough for one handle. Paper scissors rock, loser changes their name to “JoeBidenHisTime”.

I’ll give you one on the condition it has to be delivered via overhand throw.

Geeze, this is a goddamn mess.

If you think the NHLPA’s handling of this is why they’re 4th in the big 4, I think you’ve missed a lot of headlines in the past 20+ years about other leagues.

Your coverage of domestic violence in sports is second-to-none. That said, I see a common thread in each of your stories—dissatisfaction with the leagues’ policies, investigations, and/or implementations.

The only real policy any team has is: “Fuck me, how do we make this go away?”

There are few simple pleasures in life greater than an ice cold shower beer after a long day of work, but I say that having never had a shower cocktail or glass of wine. Perhaps this calls for extending the study...

well, if you want to be honest about it, all fries suck when cold. Also, that is a very very narrow of traditional. I meant more of what we think of as a prototypical fry- significantly longer than thicker, golden color, crisp outside, fluffy inside, and only salt for seasoning. 

Okay, a dog fashion show is the best idea in the history of ideas. I want to high-five the person that thought of it.

I’ve been married for 7 years and have lived with my wife for 12, so every Saturday/Sunday is a breakfast date for me. Unfortunately being in a long relationship that does not mean the previous night necessarily went well. 

You forgot #5. Last night’s date went well and you decide to get breakfast after waking up in bed together. 

Best Bachelor party I’ve ever been to was an all-day smoking class that taught us how to smoke an entire pig: ribs, shoulder, sausages, plus chicken and sides. You tended the fire and drank all day, then ate like kings as everything came off the smoker throughout the day before passing out at 8:30 PM thanks to a full…

“And the dude who organized it still sent me a fucking BILL for the group’s strip club tab.”

Except for the part where #44 rolls up onto his right shoulder, clearly using that leverage to twist Martinez’s ankle. 

It really shows how screwed up sports is when one person’s classless bumper sticker in 1989 is grounds to cheer on a freshman’s leg being fucked up. 

That’s incredibly dirty.

Um, that was blatant AF.

I’m 37 and my wife and I had shots this weekend. Live a little.

Ugh, gators! HE WAS RIGHT THERE. All moist and pink and chompable and YOU DIDN’T TAKE EVEN A NIBBLE???? You have let down your PR man, Sterling Archer!