The only reason I’m surprised ny this accusation is that it wasn’t against Chris Angel (Kriss Anjel? Whatever dumbfuck way he spells it.) Give it time...

Good catch. It’s really odd that the year was included.

How could he not love her? I’ve only just seen her, and I already love her.

How ‘bout we just put the pisher in prison and never speak his name again? Could we do that, and go back to speculating whether Trump has a diaper fetish? ‘Cuz that’s what I heard. I mean, I don’t really know anything, but people are talking. They’re beautifully talking. The best talking. It’s huge talking.

Counterpoint: the Moon is provocatively dressed with all those lava flows just SITTING on her surface, she’s been drinking and everybody knows she “shines” all over Hollywood.

Hi-C what you did there.

I think the same thing whenever I see Karl Lagerfield and Choupette. He might love that cat, but he doesn’t hold her very well.

This strikes me as an incredibly weird thing for a lawyer to say -

Everyone knows the only proper way to hold a cat is by the tail with a reasonably high degree of centrifugal force applied until you throw it into a deep pit of spikes.

Ohhh ok, now I get it. That one does look like it’s seen some shit.

For his next trick, watch in amazement as he makes his morality and ethics disappear right before your eyes.

Now we know which wizarding school he came from.

That’s the old badly-held dog. Here’s his “““““stray”””””:

Ben Affleck is definitely a jackass, but it’s only one picture. I love dogs, have had them my entire life, and you could definitely find a single pic of my holding my dog like he’s a little baby.

That’s how you hold a cat...right before it twists around and takes your eyes.

Or his liquor.

What if that’s Matt Damon he’s carrying?

The humane treatment of a dog is to keep it on a leash but let it walk free.

I’m 36 and I can’t handle it. I’ve never liked things with sexually abused children, but now that I have kids I can’t handle it at all.

Fair enough, but use Madi Barney’s name.