Monogrammed coffee thermoses, I'm important! I'm important, bitch, I'm important!

He looks like every mistake I made between 2007 and 2011.

Oiks. People always think they are so freaking clever.

NO WAY OMG THAT CAN'T BE REAL.

Eye merkins?

When I was a little kid, I always watched people lick the frosting off candles. At maybe my third or fourth birthday, I was given a candle to lick frosting off like the big kids. Except, I didn't know that's what they were actually doing. I ate the entire candle, and then disposed of the string on my plate super…

sorry me offended you because try to express opinion. me regret intent and will not speak to you in the future. Goodbye and God bless.

To think it was once classy, and now forever ruined with the stench of Jenny McCarthy.

Can you stop yelling at everyone who comments? Stop acting like a jerk and be nice.

I wish I had a dog I could feed those to, just so I could constantly tell the dog to "eat a bowl of dicks".

I wish I could flag this comment. Quinoa's good when it's made right and farro is less objectionable than farro cous cous but rice is the only food I eat. I would rather eat nothing but rice for the rest of my life than eat everything but rice for the rest of my life. It is a goddamn STAPLE. Do you also hate…

The hotel I worked at back in the early 80s had a Sunday brunch buffet that was popular with the locals.
One morning, one of our regular customers got the attention of the manager and told her that he had just witnessed a large red haired woman stuff a half-dozen un-used Sternos in her oversized purse before leaving…

Ah, I see now. It is pictured at the top of this article. Thanks for explaining that, but I wish you hadn't been so condescending in your reply to me.

Which will have a bigger circumference, her gown or her hair?

I assume none of the Whalbergs brought their children to meet a noted child predator.

These are great. In kind of a reversal, there is a Thai restaurant in Georgetown that used to have a challenge where if you could eat every appetizer on their menu in a 45 minute period, it was all free. Some of these portions were meal sized. Many were deep fried. One of the the rules, though, was that you had to eat…